The pronunciation and names trick: respect that costs nothing

There is a specific kind of meeting moment that happens in international or diverse teams: someone mispronounces a colleague’s name, the colleague does the small flinch they’ve learned to suppress, and everyone moves on like nothing happened. This occurs in companies that have elaborate inclusion initiatives and detailed values decks. It costs nothing to fix and costs something every time it doesn’t get fixed.

This post is not a lecture. It’s a practical how-to for the first-year employee who wants to not be the person doing the flinch-inducing thing.

Why names matter more than you think

A name is the word a person has heard spoken correctly their whole life by people who know them and love them. Getting it consistently wrong signals, at a low hum, that you haven’t invested enough attention to learn it. That signal accumulates. It doesn’t create enemies; it creates a mild but durable sense that you’re someone who doesn’t pay close attention to people.

In a professional setting, where trust is built from hundreds of small signals, “pays close attention to people” is the kind of reputation you want. It’s also the kind of reputation that accrues to people who do the small things well. Your manager doesn’t announce who gets credit for this. It just becomes part of how they think about you.

What the other person is trying to do

Almost no one corrects mispronunciation directly. It feels confrontational and the moment passes quickly, so most people absorb it and move on. This means you will not get feedback that you’re getting it wrong. The absence of correction is not confirmation that you’re saying it right.

How to learn a name you’re not sure about

Three options, in ascending order of directness:

Ask them directly, in private. “I want to make sure I’m saying your name correctly. How do you say it?” This is the best option and the most underused. Everyone I’ve ever seen asked this question has responded warmly. The ask signals effort, which is the whole point.

Ask a trusted colleague. If asking directly feels awkward in a given context, asking a mutual colleague is fine: “Hey, how do you pronounce [name]? I want to make sure I’m getting it right.”

Use a name pronunciation tool. For names from cultures you’re less familiar with, a quick search on a pronunciation guide or name-pronunciation site covers most cases. It takes sixty seconds and removes the guesswork.

What doesn’t work: guessing for six months and hoping the colleague will eventually correct you. They probably won’t.

What to do if you’ve been getting it wrong

This is where most people freeze. The options feel like: ignore it forever, or have an awkward moment of acknowledgment. The awkward moment is the right call, and it’s less awkward than it feels:

“I realized I’ve been mispronouncing your name. The right way is [correct version], right? I want to make sure I’m getting it right going forward.”

One sentence. Then say the name correctly a few times in natural conversation and the subject is closed. People remember the correction more than the original error.

Beyond pronunciation: the names thing broadly

Getting someone’s name right also extends to not shortening it without permission. If someone introduces themselves as Anagnda, “Ana” is not automatically available to you. Some people prefer the shortened version; others don’t. The safe default is to use what they gave you until they offer otherwise.

Same for nicknames that appear in someone’s email signature vs. their display name. If the signature says “Theo” and the company directory says “Theodore,” use “Theo.” The signature is the signal.

A note on your own name

If your name is often mispronounced, there’s a version of this that goes the other way: making it easy for people to get it right early. Introducing yourself with a quick assist is a reasonable move: “I’m Siobhan, pronounced Sha-VAWN, nice to meet you.” Most people will appreciate the guidance and you’ll spend less energy on the micro-corrections that follow the other path.

You can learn the names of every piece of internal tooling at a new job in two weeks. Names of the people you work with are at least as learnable and considerably more important.

Further reading

• How to introduce yourself at a new job
• Expat first job: the unspoken rules you need to learn fast
• Office etiquette: the unwritten rules nobody hands you